We are the most connected and at the same time, LONELIEST people ever. We spend hours a day connecting with thousands of people over social media while we are sitting alone. For teenagers and children especially this is not only sad, it's dangerous. More and more it is apparent that depression and anxiety, substance abuse and alcoholism are impacted by if not caused by loneliness and isolation. How is it possible to be so lonely when we can connect with virtually the whole world ANYTIME we want?
I have a love/hate relationship with FaceBook. I LOVE how I've been able to connect and re-connect with so many treasured friends from over the years. Living far away from family (including my daughters) it has given me a window into the lives of people I love and allowed me to feel like I'm not quite so far.
It is also a time suck and often a distraction from life. It has informed and confused, entertained and stimulated, challenged and frustrated. I have been able to engage in political discussions like never before in my life and have begun actively sharing stories of love and positivity whenever I can. It has also shone a light on the ugliness and hate in the world and has become an echo chamber where we begin to hear more and more from those like us and less and less from those we disagree with.
Like so much of life, it's about moderation - too much of anything is a bad idea. The question is how do we find the right balance? How do we teach our children that face to face connections are still far more important and satisfying than living your life through a keyboard and a screen?
While there are many good things about being able to connect so widely, what is being lost? It doesn't matter if you have 2,000 FaceBook friends or 5,000 Instagram followers if you have no one to sit with when you're sad or celebrate with you when something wonderful happens. Humans are social creatures and we NEED contact. Not just through a computer, but real human contact. We need touch - a handshake, a hug, a pat on the back.
I worry about children who are not learning about things like making eye contact when they talk with someone. More and more I've noticed that many adults are terrible about introducing themselves or the people they are with. People don't want to shake hands because they will share germs. We are afraid to touch each other for so many reasons. The first few years we lived in Connecticut I thought it was just a New England thing, not knowing your neighbors. Now I hear it from so many areas. WE ARE LIVING IN ISOLATION AND IT'S DESTROYING US.
Our political climate doesn't help with connection - we are being told to believe that those who are different are to be feared. The division only grows when we move through life in a bubble, only making eye contact with those we know. Only saying hello to familiar faces.
I am an introvert by nature. It is HARD for me to strike up a conversation with a stranger. My mom and one of my daughter's are the complete opposite. They can engage in conversation with virtually anyone! Here's a curious thing though... Extroverts are by and large admired in our culture and Introverts are often considered shy or aloof. Extroverts are also more common. If this is the case, then what is so hard about making eye contact when you are walking down the road? Why would you not introduce yourself to someone you are having a conversation with? Why would you not say hello to the person standing in line with you at the grocery store? WHAT IS WRONG WITH US? Are we so afraid of being rejected that we won't take a chance to reach out and connect?
This week is RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS week. Perhaps we need to have a SAY HELLO TO EVERYONE YOU MEET week. When we make eye contact we acknowledge the very existence of the person we make eye contact with. When we say hello we take it up a level. When we take the time to listen to another person and give them the gift of our time we are saying "you are worthy."
Be present. Put your devices down. Pay attention to those around you. Make eye contact. Smile. Say hello. Acknowledge their existence. See if it changes your perspective.
Perhaps if we spent more time face to face, the virtual relationships we have would take their place as a part of our social world rather than all of it.
I have a love/hate relationship with FaceBook. I LOVE how I've been able to connect and re-connect with so many treasured friends from over the years. Living far away from family (including my daughters) it has given me a window into the lives of people I love and allowed me to feel like I'm not quite so far.
It is also a time suck and often a distraction from life. It has informed and confused, entertained and stimulated, challenged and frustrated. I have been able to engage in political discussions like never before in my life and have begun actively sharing stories of love and positivity whenever I can. It has also shone a light on the ugliness and hate in the world and has become an echo chamber where we begin to hear more and more from those like us and less and less from those we disagree with.
Like so much of life, it's about moderation - too much of anything is a bad idea. The question is how do we find the right balance? How do we teach our children that face to face connections are still far more important and satisfying than living your life through a keyboard and a screen?
While there are many good things about being able to connect so widely, what is being lost? It doesn't matter if you have 2,000 FaceBook friends or 5,000 Instagram followers if you have no one to sit with when you're sad or celebrate with you when something wonderful happens. Humans are social creatures and we NEED contact. Not just through a computer, but real human contact. We need touch - a handshake, a hug, a pat on the back.
I worry about children who are not learning about things like making eye contact when they talk with someone. More and more I've noticed that many adults are terrible about introducing themselves or the people they are with. People don't want to shake hands because they will share germs. We are afraid to touch each other for so many reasons. The first few years we lived in Connecticut I thought it was just a New England thing, not knowing your neighbors. Now I hear it from so many areas. WE ARE LIVING IN ISOLATION AND IT'S DESTROYING US.
Our political climate doesn't help with connection - we are being told to believe that those who are different are to be feared. The division only grows when we move through life in a bubble, only making eye contact with those we know. Only saying hello to familiar faces.
I am an introvert by nature. It is HARD for me to strike up a conversation with a stranger. My mom and one of my daughter's are the complete opposite. They can engage in conversation with virtually anyone! Here's a curious thing though... Extroverts are by and large admired in our culture and Introverts are often considered shy or aloof. Extroverts are also more common. If this is the case, then what is so hard about making eye contact when you are walking down the road? Why would you not introduce yourself to someone you are having a conversation with? Why would you not say hello to the person standing in line with you at the grocery store? WHAT IS WRONG WITH US? Are we so afraid of being rejected that we won't take a chance to reach out and connect?
This week is RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS week. Perhaps we need to have a SAY HELLO TO EVERYONE YOU MEET week. When we make eye contact we acknowledge the very existence of the person we make eye contact with. When we say hello we take it up a level. When we take the time to listen to another person and give them the gift of our time we are saying "you are worthy."
Be present. Put your devices down. Pay attention to those around you. Make eye contact. Smile. Say hello. Acknowledge their existence. See if it changes your perspective.
Perhaps if we spent more time face to face, the virtual relationships we have would take their place as a part of our social world rather than all of it.
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