love and kindness

The last week has been rough. The fall-out from the shooting in FL has continued longer than other shootings and for that, I am strangely grateful. Perhaps if we keep up the pressure THIS will be the beginning of a change. I have been completely blown away by (but not surprised) by the power of the teenagers who have been mobilized. Articulate, smart, passionate and powerful. These are our future leaders. They are the reason that no matter how bleak things look, no matter how much despair I feel at the state of our country, I have hope.

The last few days have seen growing numbers of adults, gun owners and others, who are standing up and saying enough. Events have been planned - walkouts, vigils, marches. Phone calls are being made and postcards are being sent. November 2018 is around the corner and legislators who are in the pocket of the NRA should be quaking in their boots. Change is coming. We are waking up, standing tall and demanding that those we elected to serve us actually start to listen.

At the same time all this is going on, we have seen the 50th anniversary of the first American broadcast of Mr. Rogers. With that have been interviews, video clips, photos, remembrances. I grew up with Mr. Rogers. My children watched Mr. Rogers. My niece and nephew watch Daniel Tiger (a sweet show inspired by Mr. Rogers). Mr. Rogers was about love and kindness. Caring for your friends and yourself. Being kind to all. His gentleness and routine were soothing. We all need a little more "Mr. Rogers" in our life. There is so much hate and anger. Bitterness and suspicion are everywhere. Being cynical and world weary is normal while being innocent and hopeful is naive.

It is so easy to be overwhelmed by the work that needs to be done. There is only so much money to donate, time to volunteer and resources to give. The number of causes can paralyze you. Where to focus?? Gun Violence? Immigrants? Women? People of Color? Education? Environment? It all seems to be too much.

We have to start with love and kindness. We need to listen and be open. We need to love people into doing what we want. The more we all dig our heels in and get angry and call names, the easier it is for the other side to turn away. People who preach hate and fear were once children who wanted to be loved. They are damaged. As hard as it might be, having conversations with those on the other side of the table through eyes of love just might allow those conversations to be more productive.

If each one of us were to wake up each day and move forward with the idea that love and kindness is on the agenda imagine the change. People are lonely and overwhelmed. They are fearful and hurt. We do not know the burdens that others carry, the wounds they are hiding. The smallest moments can make a difference. A smile, a hello, an acknowledgement. A handshake, a hug, and pat on the back. Looking someone in the eye and really seeing them - putting down our devices and really listening.

We have to rebuild our community - for so many reasons we have allowed ourselves to build walls around us that keep us from connecting with others.

Over the years, I've heard jokes about Mr. Rogers Neighborhood and "won't you be my neighbor?" It can seem so simplistic and naive. Can it really be so simple? Love your neighbor. Feed the hungry. Care for the sick. Be kind to everyone. Mr. Rogers continues to teach us everyday. There is a reason that 50 years later, a 3 minute video clip can bring many of us to tears. He's right. Regardless of what happens with gun control, one thing we can all do right now is stop fearing our neighbors and start loving them. All of them. People who are connected to friends and neighbors are less likely to hurt themselves or others. People who are connected are more likely to be identified by those who love them if there are concerns.

WE are responsible for each other. WE are called to care for each other. WE must do better.

love and kindness.

The others

Sunday my family went with others from our church to worship with a congregation in Northampton, MA.  We brought a meal to share and were welcomed with open arms.  This little congregation could not be more different than ours.  Many are homeless, physically or mentally ill, and/or drug addicted. Many are veterans. Many are recovering and struggling to re-build their life. Many are victims of violence; physical, sexual, emotional. All are food insecure.  For some, the dinner we brought was their first meal of the day.
We came from warm homes with cupboards and refrigerators and freezers full of food. We have closets full of clothing and multiple pairs of mittens or multiple hats and scarves and coats and boots to choose from when it's cold.
When we arrived, my 16 year snuggled up to me and whispered in my ear "is it terrible that some of these people make me uncomfortable?".  That my sweet child is why we are here.
We spend so much time with those who are just like us.  It's comfortable and easy.  The more time we spend with those like us the easier it is to look through those who are not.  To look at them as if they are alien.  But how different are they really?
They have flesh and blood. They feel pain and joy. They need to eat and and be sheltered. We also struggle with mental illnesses, addiction, violence. Many of them have or have had families who they loved and cared for.  They want to be able to live their life in peace.  They look out for each other. They are children of God.  They did not choose to be born into their life any more than I chose to be born into mine.  We all make choices that can either lead is in one direction or another, but here's the thing.  It's a whole lot easier for me to "pull myself up by my bootstraps" because I HAVE BOOTS.
When we first spend time with others who appear so different from us, it can be intensely uncomfortable.  The more time we spend, the more we remember that they are not so different from us.  Our discomfort increases when we realize that we could be them, but decreases when we share the Peace and are reminded that we are all children of God.
During the service there was a brief explanation of the difference between sympathy and empathy.  Sympathy is what many of us feel when we see someone who is "unfortunate."  Empathy is what we feel when we can put ourselves in their shoes.  Empathy leads to reaching out and offering a helping hand.  Empathy leads to kindness. Empathy is not just suggesting a way out of the pit. It's climbing down into the pit and being with the "other." When we can walk in someone else's shoes we realize that they are not "others".  They are "all of us".
The current political climate would lead us to believe that the Syrian refugees are "others".  While many are riding the tide of hate and fear, more and more of " us" are demanding that we reach out to those in need.  When we remember that the refugees are mothers and fathers, sons and daughters, Christians and Muslims, we begin to demand that the rush to judgement be stopped.  When we acknowledge that the "others" are flesh and blood, they feel pain and joy and fear, they want to live their lives in peace, they didn't choose to be born in their war torn region any more than I chose to be born in the US, the more we are uncomfortable with the hate and fear-mongering.
Jesus was a refugee when his tiny family fled the murderous forces of Herod.  Many friends have told stories of parents and grandparents who were refugees from Poland or Germany.  We are a country of immigrants.  One of the things that makes the US such a great place is the Diversity that exists, but it seems like we allow the fear of the "other" to get in the way of celebrating the rich history and traditions of our melting pot.
In WWII we turned away refugees and they perished.  We said never again. We unjustly imprisoned Japanese Americans. We said never again.  Can this be the time we step up?  Can we show our best selves by honoring our commitment to the world community?  Can we acknowledge our fear and discomfort and then do the right thing?