thoughts this morning

Some thoughts that have been percolating in my mind over the past week.

~ Guns do kill people. They kill children, mothers, fathers, friends, enemies, strangers.

~ Dramatically decreasing the number of guns available in this country would in fact decrease the number of deaths by firearms.  The accidental shooting by the toddler in a home, the suicide of the distraught teenager.  The "in the heat of the moment" shooting of the husband or wife.  If guns are not available (destroyed or responsibly stored), they can't be used.

~ the right of our children and families to be able to go to school, church, a movie, the park, ANYWHERE, and feel safe completely trumps the right of anyone to own weapons whose sole purpose is to kill people.  Who the hell are you afraid of?????  Maybe if we stopped fearing each other and actually cared for people the way we care for money and stuff, the rising number of alienated, hurting individuals in our country would decrease.  Maybe if we valued kindness and empathy and serving each other more than doing just that which makes us "happy" fewer people would feel the need to lash out. Maybe if we made sure as a nation that ALL people had the basic necessities of life, we could be less fearful.

~ responsible gun owners who hunt or use guns for sport should have no beef with common sense gun reform.  Weapons designed to kill people should not be available to the general public for any reason.  Those who do own guns should have to demonstrate competence, pass a background check, be licensed, pay insurance just in case, and keep those guns safely stored in a locked safe with ammunition stored elsewhere.

~ none of these measures would eliminate all deaths by firearms, but they sure would dramatically decrease them.  How do we know this?  Because we've seen it happen around the world.  When we refuse to learn from the experience of our global neighbors we reinforce the idea that Americans are narcissistic assholes.  Not really how I'd like to be perceived by the world.  It's actually pretty embarrassing.

~ when the same people who want so badly to regulate my reproductive choices and those of my friends and daughters are as protective of the LIVES OF PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY LIVING AND BREATHING INDEPENDENTLY, I will discuss their "pro-life" agenda.  Until then I won't.  I'm not interested in talking with hypocrites who will do anything to "defend life", but refuse to address issues of healthcare (including mental health) education, poverty, gun safety.

~ my brain has been very busy lately.

I'm so angry

I'm so angry.  I've been blogging in my head for days now and nothing has seemed quite right.  I've wanted to be sensitive and not offend anyone.  I've wanted to just share the love.  That's what I do right?  Share the LOVE.
How is it possible that there have been 31 horrific school shootings since Columbine, yet we have not had the courage to step up and regulate weapons created to do nothing other than kill people. We have not had the courage to commit, as a society, to care for those in our world who most need our help and support.  We leave the most desperate families, children and individuals to fend for themselves and then we blame everyone else when something finally happens.  SHAME ON US.
I have not slept well or eaten much since Friday.  My stomach has been lodged in my throat and I am focused on caring for my own family which is having its own struggles right now.  Sleep eludes me.

I have refused to read the paper, or watch the news for days.  Anytime I catch a glimpse of one of the victims of Friday's massacre, I feel like I'm intruding on the most personal of tragedies.  I wanted to go to a local vigil the other night and then felt bad when I couldn't make myself go.  I don't feel bad anymore, at least about that.  I think our public displays of grief and support are important for many people.  I did watch the President's address at the vigil in Newtown and appreciated his words.
For me personally it feels selfish.  This is not "my" tragedy.  It is not "my" pain.  Over the past two decades every time something tragic happens, the public response has become bigger and bigger and the outpouring of support is greater and greater.  I can't help feeling like our need to "share" the burden and pain is intrusive and disrespectful.

I did not lose a child or a friend or a parent on Friday.  Most of us didn't.  We were lucky - our children are safely at school today.  My teacher husband is safely at his school doing his job, ready to "protect" his kids.  Maybe we need to light candles and gather to feel like we are doing SOMETHING, when really there is nothing we can do.  At least not for those children and teachers who are now gone.

I feel like this makes me sound hard.  I have done my own weeping and praying, privately.

I'M SO ANGRY!  Here comes the rant...

Over and over and OVER again, these events happen.  Over and over and OVER again, we cry and weep and send teddy bears and raise money and hug and light candles and sing songs of peace and love.

Then, WE DO NOTHING.

SHAME ON US.

We continue to allow bullies like the NRA dictate gun policy.  While civilized countries around the world have found ways to drastically reduce gun violence through real legislation, we allow BULLIES to decide who should be allowed to have WEAPONS DESIGNED TO KILL PEOPLE.

SHAME ON US.

We continue to refuse to take responsibility for the sick and destitute.  We tout personal responsibility, but don't take it for ourselves or our families.  We leave the mentally ill and their family members to fend for themselves.  We light candles, sing songs, share platitudes and then go Christmas shopping.

SHAME ON US.

I'm so angry and so tired and while I desperately want to feel hopeful that maybe this time will be different, I'm having a hard time seeing that light.  God is weeping for his people and their foolishness.