the nest

the nest

Monday, August 26, 2013

Monday quietness

It is so quiet this morning ~ Jeff is off to his first day of the new school year, the girls are still sleeping, and the dogs are enjoying their first nap of the morning.  I have a million things to do including making a list of those million things, but I'm not ready yet.  It's too quiet to get busy.

The last month has flown by and has been filled with many ups and downs.  The challenges of teenagers, travel, money and the joy of summer, friends, music and family.  I had plans to blog through our August adventures, but here we are at the end of the month.

The only adventure that sticks with me on this quiet morning is the most recent one.  The others are a little blurry.  A week and 2 days ago on August 16th, my Father-in-law, Tom Roets, passed away after a massive heart attack.  He was 72 and aside from mechanical things like knee and hip, back and shoulder issues, was relatively healthy.  An avid tennis player and golfer over the years, Tom took care of himself and with a family history of heart issues, was diligent about check ups and knowing the signs to watch for.

You just never know when or how you will go.

As I've spent the last few years mulling about launching my children I forgot that as my children age, I age and of course our parents age.  We've been lucky to have 3 sets of Grandparents.  My husband still has a Grandmother and his Grandpa Johnson has only been gone a few years, so our children will have memories of Great-Grandparents!  So amazing!
With age comes death.  It's inevitable, but we've made it so difficult. So much of our culture has made death the worst thing possible, but isn't it truly just part of life?  The more we accept it and allow ourselves to "be" with our feelings as we have them, the more it's not so awful.

I didn't think that I would spend so much of my children's teenage years helping them process death.  It seems like just as we feel we've processed someone's passing and moved on, someone else says goodbye.  Today is the 6 month anniversary of our friend Ellen's death (and her real birthday).  I don't want to think of who might be next, but it's hard not to.

Perhaps death is the ultimate "launching."
Many of us believe (or want to believe) that we go on to a better life after death.  Maybe instead of (or in addition to) funerals or memorial services we should have celebrations ~ "The Big Launch".

My very wise 17 year old said that she has decided that when you die it's like getting into another car.  She was imagining her Grandpa getting out of one car and into another one.  Perhaps a Ferrari.  I think that whatever helps her say goodbye to those she loves is awesome.

I am thankful that I believe in Heaven.  Launching the people I love into a black whole is terrifying.  Launching them into the next great adventure?  I like that idea better.