the nest

the nest

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Choices, obstacles and getting out of my own way

Yesterday I read a blog post of a friend of mine,, and was inspired to think about my own choices.  Like me, Gayle has a small business of her own and while it's a different kind of business, we have similar freedoms and restrictions that come with being a small business owner.

As a small business owner I choose whether to grow my business or not.  I choose when I work and when I don't.  I choose whether I hire others or do it myself.  There's a lot of choices.  Sometimes I wish I had a boss so I didn't have to make all the choices.

I have a 6 month cycle that I seem to follow ~  for 6 months I'm energized and focused and full of ideas and passion for building and growing my little music and arts community.  Then for 6 months I slide down, forgetting to follow up on ideas, make things happen, follow through.

This has gone on for years now.   I'm certain it is irritating to many of those close to me.  It makes me crazy!  I end up in the same place each time.  "If only I had a partner who liked the business side of things."  "If only I had some capital to invest in growing."  "If only..."  If only I put on my big girl pants and got out of my own way.

I think I'm afraid of some of the choices I'm faced with.  Figuring out why is the hard part.  I routinely come back to the big question:  Do I really dive in and grow my business or do I accept how it is now and maintain it?  The answer has almost always been DIVE IN!  The ideas start flowing, the energy gets going and then...

"Look, there's a chicken!"  The distractions begin.  The "what if's?" join in.  The "I don't know how to do that" starts up.  One by one the ideas and the energy get diverted into other things.  The list of excuses grows and grows.

The worst thing that would happen if I really committed to growing my business and making my vision a reality is that it wouldn't grow and I'd have what I have now.  A sweet, lovely little business that needs a little financial attention.  Not the worst thing in the world.

But what if I really did it this time?  What if I got out of my own way and actually did the things on the list?  What if I found the people to help with the tasks I hate and then actually gave them the power to do them?  What if I stood up, behaved like the smart, energetic, passionate small business owner I am and allowed my ideas and energy to come together to grow the vibrant music and arts community I see in my dreams?

I would have to make the choice to believe in myself.  I think that's the most difficult one.  I don't know why.  I'll add it to my list and maybe figure it out tomorrow.