the nest

the nest

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

little children~little problems big children~big problems

I miss having babies and toddlers.  I really do.  When my children were babies and toddlers and even preschoolers, I could nurse them, snuggle them, sing them a song, love them, and whatever hurt them would go away.
I wish I had learned early what battles are really worth fighting.  I wasted time fussing about things that really don't matter ~ I hope I paid attention to what was really important most of the time.
The problems of "big" children can't be soothed away by a Mama.  Those children have to muddle through themselves.  They have to deal with heartache and pain, life changing choices and existential angst.  I have to stay out of the way as they process the challenges of becoming an adult while making sure they KNOW I am there to hold them when they need to rest or vent or cry. 
When I wrote my first post a while back and talked about pushing my little birds out of the nest, my very wise father told me this. "You know that when eaglets leave the nest, the parent flies below them in case they need to be lifted up."
I have great models for launching children~ my mom and dad did an amazing job of giving us wings and allowing us to fly as far as we needed to.  I have a sister in CA, a brother in Moscow, Russia, I'm in CT and my other sister is in MN near Mom and Dad, but started her adult life on the East Coast as well.
Sometimes I wonder how they really feel about us being so far away...  They say "It gives us wonderful places to visit!", but imagining my children so far away some day is difficult.

But that's our job.  We have to hold them and love them and then send them on their way.

Until they need us to catch them and lift them up to try again.

I miss the days of babies.

1 comment:

  1. I love what your father said to you! There's a lot of stumbling those first few attempts at independence and it's SO important that they know you are waiting to lift them up if needed. And you're right - I miss the days of babies, too.