the nest

the nest

Friday, November 11, 2016

apology

This has been quite a Fall.

Like many others I have been swept away by the rhetoric and hype and fear surrounding change in the White House.

This week was such a roller coaster of emotions. I started out the week, as did many, feeling pretty sure that my candidate would win the White House the progress that has been made over the last 8 years would continue if not even accelerate. I never in a million years saw what was coming.

Tuesday I went from elation at voting for the first Woman President of the United States, to utter dismay and desolation when her opponent won the Electoral College. I took small comfort that my candidate won the popular vote.

I allowed my fear and frustration to take over my ability to think rationally and I lashed out on FB. I know that some of my words were hurtful to people I love and respect. For that I'm truly sorry. My biggest mistake was to forget how very public the FB forum is and what a wide range of friends and acquaintances I have there. My rant should have been public to a small number of friends who could hear my pain, hold my hand, and help me through to the other side.

The last few days I've been blessed to spend time with colleagues I love, focusing on the work we do. It has been a much needed distraction. I'm still not watching or listening to the news or spending much if any time on social media.  I need to be in a bubble for a few more days.

What I'm struggling with is the idea that we are living in a nation with two completely different viewpoints. We look at the same information, and come to completely different conclusions. I'm sharing a post here that you may have already seen, but the author articulates so well my feelings Wednesday morning.

http://johnpavlovitz.com/2016/11/09/heres-why-we-grieve-today/

This winter will bring an opportunity to look inward and figure out how to move forward. I so badly want to be able to look at people with love and generosity. I want to spend my time loving, supporting, guiding, nurturing and singing. I want to enjoy my last year with a child at home. I want to dig into my work and expand the places we are sharing music with families and young children.

It will also bring an opportunity to rethink how I interact with the world. I need to find ways to better filter what comes into my heart and mind. I need to find one "focus" for my fear based energy- most likely women's rights. One of the real drawbacks to Social Media is that WE SEE EVERYTHING and it becomes overwhelming. I should know better - it's happened before and may happen again.

For now I will be keeping my opinions in private conversations, closed groups and perhaps here. I will keep Social Media for pictures of my dogs and my family.

If you were hurt by my comments I apologize. I don't understand how this election went the way it did. I'm so sad that it feels like we are more divided than ever. I don't apologize for my feelings or opinions. I do apologize that I lashed out. It's time to find our way again and be vigilant against fear and hate and violence. 

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