There is nothing like pulling together a group of people to create something and then letting them go! This past weekend was the Ellington Community Theatre production of "Annie!" As some of you know, one of the hats I wear is 'Producer' of ECT. Over the course of less than two months, we take a group of 75 people ranging in age from 5 - 50+, and put a show on the stage! In addition to the 75 participants, there is a staff of 9 and at least 30 volunteers.
My job is the hardest and the easiest - ultimately I'm responsible for the end result. If participants (or audience members) are unhappy, the buck stops with me. That is a lot of pressure! However, when I find good people who know their job and then get out of the way and let them do it, I can sit back and "enjoy the show!"
I think maybe we all need to take on the role of Producer more often in our lives - find people with the skills needed for any particular job and then trust them to do it.
One of my frustrations with education lately is the constant second guessing of teachers. We hire people to teach but then we micro-manage them and fill their days with paperwork, testing and reporting, so they can't actually do the thing we hired them to do. We get in the way!
We do the same thing with our partners and children. We give them jobs or assume they will take care of certain tasks, but then we get in their way and try to control how they do it. I've been guilty lately of doing this with my young adult daughters and $. I have raised smart, thoughtful girls. They are fully capable of figuring out a budget and managing their resources. They might have to mess up a few times, but this is the time to do it - emptying your checking account when you are 18 and don't have a mortgage to pay is way easier to deal with than when you HAVE a mortgage, or car payment, or what have you.
Money is a hot button issue for me - I am often stressed about it and my children know it. My son has figured it out (as far as I know!). As a college student he took full responsibility for all non-school expenses after a number of arguments about how he was spending his money. This was probably the single best thing to happen to our relationship EVER. For whatever reason, I haven't drawn a line with his sisters, but it's time to do that. By holding onto that control, I'm holding them back from learning valuable lessons about being an adult. This is the time when mistakes will have the least impact.
I'm also telling them I don't trust them to "do the job" of being a young adult and all that entails. I think because money has been tricky for me, I'm afraid that I haven't taught them what they need to know ~ my guess is that it's the opposite. I trust them in so many other ways, it's time to trust them with their finances too.
My job is the hardest and the easiest - ultimately I'm responsible for the end result. If participants (or audience members) are unhappy, the buck stops with me. That is a lot of pressure! However, when I find good people who know their job and then get out of the way and let them do it, I can sit back and "enjoy the show!"
I think maybe we all need to take on the role of Producer more often in our lives - find people with the skills needed for any particular job and then trust them to do it.
One of my frustrations with education lately is the constant second guessing of teachers. We hire people to teach but then we micro-manage them and fill their days with paperwork, testing and reporting, so they can't actually do the thing we hired them to do. We get in the way!
We do the same thing with our partners and children. We give them jobs or assume they will take care of certain tasks, but then we get in their way and try to control how they do it. I've been guilty lately of doing this with my young adult daughters and $. I have raised smart, thoughtful girls. They are fully capable of figuring out a budget and managing their resources. They might have to mess up a few times, but this is the time to do it - emptying your checking account when you are 18 and don't have a mortgage to pay is way easier to deal with than when you HAVE a mortgage, or car payment, or what have you.
Money is a hot button issue for me - I am often stressed about it and my children know it. My son has figured it out (as far as I know!). As a college student he took full responsibility for all non-school expenses after a number of arguments about how he was spending his money. This was probably the single best thing to happen to our relationship EVER. For whatever reason, I haven't drawn a line with his sisters, but it's time to do that. By holding onto that control, I'm holding them back from learning valuable lessons about being an adult. This is the time when mistakes will have the least impact.
I'm also telling them I don't trust them to "do the job" of being a young adult and all that entails. I think because money has been tricky for me, I'm afraid that I haven't taught them what they need to know ~ my guess is that it's the opposite. I trust them in so many other ways, it's time to trust them with their finances too.
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