Investing in beauty

"If you ignore beauty, you will soon find yourself without it...

But if you invest in beauty, it will remain with you all the days of your life."   

Frank Llyod Wright

Wise words for sure - they were on the front of a card that arrived in the mail from a friend and I've been looking at them for days without really reading them.  

It seems like more and more, we ignore the beauty around us.  We don't have time to see it.  We complain, we judge, we whine, we fight.  In the meantime, beauty is everywhere around us, but we miss it.

This has been a dark winter for many of us.  From the moment I heard the news from Sandy Hook, CT through this past weekend when the local high school theatre club had to withdraw from a festival they had been preparing for due to some flukey assault on their stomachs (cause still being determined!), there has been challenge after challenge after challenge.  I'm tired of it.

I want to shake myself and begin finding the beauty.  The communities that have been inspired to fight for the safety of not only our children, but all children.  The friends and family who have been there for us as we have faced struggles and loss.  The snow, the sunshine, the dog that needs to be close.

I want to be intentional about "investing" in beauty.  I want to sing more.  I want to actually plant some flowers this Spring.  I want to really see my daughters when they are joyful and happy and engaged rather than only noticing when they are being challenging.

Perhaps if our government officials spent more time "investing" in the beauty of our country instead of bickering and backstabbing and generally behaving badly, they would set an example for all of us.  Investing in education and early childhood and families.  Investing in local businesses and communities.  Supporting and strengthening from the ground up rather than dripping down from the top.

I'm going to go notice the sun shining outside before the snow begins again - maybe I'll even try to appreciate the beauty of a few snowflakes this time around.

I don't feel like shining...

The last month has sucked.  February 26th, Ellen dies.  March 3rd, a dear colleague dies.  Ellen was diagnosed just before Christmas.  Sally was diagnosed 3 weeks before she passed away.
They were both women who loved other people's children.  Neither had children of their own, but they were beloved by many.
I know that at almost 45 years old, I'm going to start to know more and more people who become sick and die.  I know that it's a natural part of life and that they are going on to something else.  Some say it will be better.  I don't really know.
What I know right now is that some of the people I love the most in the world live too far away.  Some of the ones who live close get taken for granted.  Any one of them could be gone tomorrow or next week or next year.
I'm just pissed.  Two shining lights in the world are gone.  Sally was a model for so many of us in the Music Together world - we wanted to emulate her and be around her and even if we didn't "know" her, we felt like we did.
I needed Ellen.  I wasn't ready for her to go.  She has always been there to take the place of the aunts and grandmothers who live too far away to attend programs and go to lunch.  Now she's gone and the aunts and grandmothers still live too far away.
I'm feeling lonely and afraid that those I love will be gone before I can tell them how much they mean to me.  I don't know where they're going, I just know that I'm not there and I will miss them.