the nest

the nest

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Do as I say, not as I do...

This raising and launching children is tough work.  They continue to teach me new things every day.  Before they came into my world I imagined that I would teach them so much.  It's been the opposite.

Sure I've taught them many things like how to tie their shoes, make their beds, clean a bathroom, brush their teeth.   I've taught them their prayers and how to apologize when they've done something wrong.

I hope I've taught them some things of value, but I think they have taught me more.  I've taught them skills, but they've taught me how to love and forgive.  I would suggest that these are more important lessons than how to wash your face.

My son turns 20 today and my youngest finishes Middle School.  A big day all around.  I'm feeling a little melancholy.  My middle has had a rough year.  She expects so much of herself and has tormented herself with the thought that we expect perfection.  It makes me so sad that this is the message she has gotten from us.  It doesn't surprise me though.

Over the years I have been reminded in many ways that our children will do what we DO, not what we say.  If I say to my beautiful child, "don't be so hard on yourself, do your best and that's enough," but I am endlessly critical of myself, what message does she hear?  If I say to them "you are perfect just the way you are," but constantly criticize myself, what do they hear?   If we tell them to make good choices, but they SEE us make our own bad ones, what do they learn?

I know that we do the best we can.  I know that we are blessed to have amazing children.  I need to remember that they are amazing not so much because of us, but in spite of us.  I need to remember that the older they get, the more the choices they make are theirs, not mine.  The consequences (good and bad) of those choices are THEIRS, not mine.

I have to hope that we've given them strong, powerful wings to carry them through the storms that life will bring to them.  I want them to know that NO MATTER WHAT, I love them forever and always.

1 comment:

  1. you always have such a lovely perspective on your topics. I agree that already 3 years in I have learned more from my babies than I have been able to instill in them... :)