The past week has been a busy and tough one. Hot and sticky with marginal air-conditioning. A whole Spring worth of yard work to do before hosting 75+ on Saturday. Re-entering life after vacation. Trying not to think about finally saying goodbye to a friend. Worrying about my children and their ability to say goodbye as well.
Our friend Ellen passed away February 26th after a frighteningly short fight with Pancreatic Cancer. She was our friend and surrogate aunt. Like other "family" members, we sometimes took her for granted. When life is busy you forget to pay attention to the here and now and get wrapped up in the bits and pieces.
While her funeral was in her home state of Ohio shortly after her death, we needed to celebrate her life here in CT and so with her family's help, we held a Celebration of Life service at First Lutheran in Ellington and then had the first "Ellen Kates Memorial Kegger", so named by her nieces nephews.
5 months was a long time to avoid the reality that she was gone. She traveled a lot and life floated along, so we could go chunks of time without contact. Points when we painfully remembered she was gone: Spring Concerts, Plays, and Dance Recitals. With no extended family close by, Ellen never failed to come if she was in town. Even when I would say "you really don't need to sit through a 2+ hour dance recital for 3 short dances" she would joyfully come! We missed her this year and I'm sure we will miss her again.
Preparing for the party gave us an opportunity to "Do". We kept busy in the oppressive heat, doing jobs that should have been done months ago. Weeding, mulching, etc... I learned what a tremendously hard worker my son can be. While being home wasn't his plan this summer, having him home as we prepared for the weekend was a gift. The day of the party, he stepped up as a true partner in hosting our guests. I am so proud of the man he is becoming.
My daughter's were poised and articulate at the service. They got up and spoke about their "Auntie Ellen" while I was unable to open my mouth. They are becoming lovely, kind young women who can talk with almost anyone of any age.
My children helped me find my way through this goodbye and I suspect they will be there again as goodbyes in life are inevitable. I'm so glad I have them.
Our friend Ellen passed away February 26th after a frighteningly short fight with Pancreatic Cancer. She was our friend and surrogate aunt. Like other "family" members, we sometimes took her for granted. When life is busy you forget to pay attention to the here and now and get wrapped up in the bits and pieces.
While her funeral was in her home state of Ohio shortly after her death, we needed to celebrate her life here in CT and so with her family's help, we held a Celebration of Life service at First Lutheran in Ellington and then had the first "Ellen Kates Memorial Kegger", so named by her nieces nephews.
5 months was a long time to avoid the reality that she was gone. She traveled a lot and life floated along, so we could go chunks of time without contact. Points when we painfully remembered she was gone: Spring Concerts, Plays, and Dance Recitals. With no extended family close by, Ellen never failed to come if she was in town. Even when I would say "you really don't need to sit through a 2+ hour dance recital for 3 short dances" she would joyfully come! We missed her this year and I'm sure we will miss her again.
Preparing for the party gave us an opportunity to "Do". We kept busy in the oppressive heat, doing jobs that should have been done months ago. Weeding, mulching, etc... I learned what a tremendously hard worker my son can be. While being home wasn't his plan this summer, having him home as we prepared for the weekend was a gift. The day of the party, he stepped up as a true partner in hosting our guests. I am so proud of the man he is becoming.
My daughter's were poised and articulate at the service. They got up and spoke about their "Auntie Ellen" while I was unable to open my mouth. They are becoming lovely, kind young women who can talk with almost anyone of any age.
My children helped me find my way through this goodbye and I suspect they will be there again as goodbyes in life are inevitable. I'm so glad I have them.
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