the nest

the nest

Thursday, January 2, 2014

A Fresh Start

2014 ~ a fresh year, a fresh start.

I didn't write yesterday because I wasn't ready.  I planned to start the year with a post on January 1st focused on moving forward and taking charge!

I couldn't do it.  It felt hypocritical.

At the beginning of vacation, I had a conversation with my son that started me thinking.  We were talking about school and his plans.  He has not had a great college experience, and while he has toyed with the idea of dropping out or taking a semester off, he's decided to plow through, finish his degree, pay off his loans and then get on with his life.
This seems relatively responsible - a college degree does increase his chances of getting a job in the future, paying off his students loans would be a load off and then moving forward would be exciting.  He could "get on with his life."

Today as I was bringing him back to his apartment, I struggled with this and what I realized was that HIS LIFE IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.  If he's not happy with his life now, why wait?  why not change it now?  I wanted to tell him to either find a way to really engage in school, or quit and move on.  Why waste time and money doing something that you feel no passion for?  Sometimes you just have to slog through something unpleasant.  If that's the choice you make, fine.  Do it.  Put your best effort into it.  If you just can't do it, then move on.


One of the lessons I've struggled with as a parent is how to convey to my children how important it is to live the life you have.  I'm perpetually looking towards the next "thing".  I have a terrible time being "in the moment".  I constantly think about "what's next?" without really attending to "what's now!" I do not set a great example for "living in the moment."

Business is tough right now.  Numbers are down, I'm struggling with how to set up the studio in a sustainable way with partners I have and those I haven't found yet.  I've thought about ways to do it, but haven't followed through.  I spend time mulling about "what if I just can't do it?" instead of just doing it.  I think about other possible directions for my life to take, but have a hard time doing what needs to be done RIGHT NOW.  I'm not sure owning a business is my passion - teaching children and families is, but the business part is harder for me.  I'm the queen of "what if?"

I want this to be the year when I stop wasting time.  The year that I relish the "here and now".  I want to sent an example of "just do it."  Either run my business or don't.  Find a way to do the work I love in a way I can be successful.  Either dig in or move on.  I want to tell my son (and daughters) that while there are times when you just need to plow through something in life, it's also ok to say "ENOUGH! Time to move on!"  What is most important is that you find work that not only pays the bills, but fills your soul.  If you don't know what that is, figure it out.  Stop wasting time on things that don't matter to you.

I want 2014 to be the year when joy returns with a vengeance.

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