Hold your breath and jump!

This is a big weekend.  I'm both excited and terrified.  I'm not a thrill seeker - I don't like roller coasters or other activities that put my physical self in danger.  When my children were small though, I discovered that while I was not a thrill seeker, I LOVED seeing my children take risks and succeed.

When Andrew was about 2 we went to a playground nearby and he kept heading for this giant climbing thing.  I kept following him and taking him off.  "It's too big!"  He was persistent though and at some point I let him climb, staying nearby to "spot" him.  Wouldn't you know he made it to the top by himself and the look on his face was PRICELESS.  As he grew he continued to explore things like trees and jungle gyms.  As a young man, he loves to explore the woods, fly down the road on his long board and push himself to master the practice of Yoga.  I love to hear about his adventures!

Katy was a thrill seeker from day one from the moment that she burst out of me.  She has always been a jumper, diver, tumbler, flyer etc...  From tree climbing, swing jumping, roller coasters, gymnastics, trampolines, diving, etc... She loves the physical thrill of pushing her body and mind to JUMP!

Tomorrow my bundle of energy and nerve turns 18.  When she turned 15 she wanted to skydive.  We said when you're 18.  We figured she would forget or move on.  Sunday morning she is jumping out of a perfectly good plane and SHE CAN'T WAIT!

I will watch from the ground, take pictures, worry about her, cry, and exalt in her complete GLEE.

While there are times during this "launching" period that are really hard for me, I am so excited to see what comes next for my Katy.  I will miss her terribly, and will worry sometimes too.  You can't send a child out into today's world without worrying about something.  BUT, I will look forward to hearing about her adventures and discoveries, her thrills and disappointments.

Tomorrow it all begins in earnest.  Turning 18, jumping out of a plane, launching herself into HER future.

I will hold on tight and enjoy the ride.

I will always be their mama

 Time is flying by way too fast for me ~  Almost a month has passed since I last wrote and it's a blur.  So much to process and think about and no idea where to start.
The pictures are of me and my chicks with the Mother's Day tree they planted for me many years ago.  Someday I'll find pics from the past
years to show how they have all grown - the chicks and the tree.  I'm the only constant.  I hope that is how my children see me - as a constant in their life.

I know change is inevitable and in fact IS the only constant in life.  When they were babies and toddlers, one of my mantra's (compliments of my sister Mary) was "This too shall pass."  When they were up all night, or having tantrums or getting into messes, I would repeat "This too shall pass." Over and over and over again.  It always worked.

Children are by nature, creatures of change.  They grow and experiment and adapt and test and practice.  Their whole

focus in life is to try out the world and figure out where they fit.  There are times when I wish more grown ups would stay with this way of being.
We get stuck in ruts and obsess about doing things certain ways.  My general way of being is more like a child.  I'm inconsistent and unpredictable.  I start "plans" and get bored quickly.  I try out new strategies and then discover there are other ones out there.  Even I get stuck.  I want some things to stay the same.
When my chicks were small, it was the frustrating annoying things that I wanted to "pass" and they did.  Now the very things I want to stay the same are the ones that are changing.  Everything changes.

Life is about change.

I love watching my chicks grow.  I love watching them turn into amazing people.  I know that they will change the world for the better.  While very little about me stays they same, I want to continue to be their "constant".  I will always be their mama.  Like my sweet Mother's Day tree, I want to be strong and beautiful.  I want to be available to them whenever they need me.  Life is about change.  Our relationships will change and evolve as they have from the moment I gave birth to them, but I will always be their mama.